I consider myself very lucky because breastfeeding came fairly easy for me. The first few weeks were tough but once the wonderbug and I mastered it...we were home-free. I exclusively breastfed until he was three months and then we had to start supplementing a bit of formula when he started day care since I wasn't pumping enough. So at school, he got 3 bottles, all 1/2 breastmilk, 1/2 formula.
Pumping has been a bit of a challenge for me. I have an awesome pump (Medela Freestyle) - it's the time to do it that I'm finding difficult to manage. Over the past few weeks, my supply has diminished (during the day) significantly. I have set alarms at work to make sure I pump twice a day but I hit ignore or think "Ok, I'll do it in a sec." and all of a sudden half my day is gone. Plus, work is pretty hectic right now. And I know stress has a big effect on supply as well.
So here's my issue --- do I wean the bug from daytime feedings? I COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY intend to nurse him in the morning and at bedtime until he is one. But this pumping thing is really getting to me. And on weekends, he ends up turning away and getting distracted when I nurse mid-day....probably because he's not getting much. In fact, right now, I use all the pumped milk in his breakfast and dinner cereal and he's getting three bottles of formula at school.
The guilt is KILLING me. I feel like I've failed him in some way, but I also feel like I need to manage my sanity. Getting breastmilk twice a day is still really beneficial for him right? I just can't make a decision - but I know I need to and just get on with it already. I don't need extra mommy guilt clinging to me like a needy ex-boyfriend. I have enough already.
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First of all - don't feel guilty. I think it's already admirable that you have made an effort to make breastfeeding work! Most people just give up, so give yourself the kudos you deserve.
The fact that he turns away is likely not due to him not getting much, but simply to him being more interested in the world around him. It doesn't mean that he isn't interested in nursing anymore, just that there are other things that he finds just as interesting!
Don't make that discourage you - but if pumping is stressing you out, it's likely to decrease your milk supply. I think some breast milk is better than none, and if you can't keep up, I don't think you should feel bad - it's clear you have your baby's well being in mind!
I went through something similar with Caleb and just about went crazy with this nurse-pump-supplement schedule we were on when he was tiny. We finally ended up scrapping the daytime nursing (somehow I was able to throw the guilt out the window) and we were both happier. I continued to nurse him in the morning and at night until he was almost a year. Giving him formula during the day not only made my life less stressful, but it made it easier for me to leave him with other people - even overnight without having to do too much planning about where his meals would come from.
I was afraid that the same milk shortage would happen with my next babies, but that was never a problem. With the other babies I had more than enough milk.
I think if you've nursed this long, especially pumping, you deserve a big Bravo!
I had the same problem when I went back to work! Even though we have a private room (very nice actually) to pump it is still hard to find time to do it. My supply always goes down so much when I pump. I say do as much as you can but don't stress yourself out! I nursed and pumped while on maternity leave with my second child (to try to avoid some of the problems I had with my first) to build up a stockpile in the freezer which really helped. Then I still pumped at work but had my freezer supply as backup. I lasted 9 months exclusively bf with my first and 8 months (supplemented longer) with my second but I think that is still better than most working moms. The more stressed out you get the more your supply drops. Good luck! :) I'm now following you!
While I haven't 'been there, done that' YET, I think 6 months is fabulous. My goal is to BF for AT LEAST 6 months and you already made that mark! Congrats! It sounds like the other ladies know what they are talking about and gave you great advice. So, TRY to chill and give the bug what you can. It seems to me that some breastmilk is better than none! Good luck!!!
Congratulations on all that you're accomplishing! I was not a fan of the pump either. I was able to nurse the Twins at home. So different challenges. :) My one thing is no room for 'mama guilt.' You've done great and morning and night is still super. It's totally worth every feeding' the Bug' can get!
Please don't feel guilty. As a mom, there's plenty more to feel guilty about than this! As long as you're doing the best you can for him and giving him plenty of love, then you're doing great!
If there's one thing that I've learned since becoming a mom, it's that you just do the best you can for them and whatever makes you both happy is best. If this is stressing you out, then do whatever will reduce the stress. If that means formula, then so be it! Kate was on formula almost since birth and is perfectly fine.
I admire you for making it this long while working AND pumping. That's awesome.
Just remember that a happy mommy equals a happy baby. And you're a fabulous mommy, so as long as he's growing and healthy then the way he gets his food doesn't matter.
Please don't feel guilty. You are doing an amazing job and I admire you for sticking with the pumping as long as you have. Any breastmilk you give the bug is better than none, so if you only nurse him twice a day that is great!
You've done FABULOUS so far! I was one that gave up- it just didn't work for me. That might be selfish but I did try and for my and her sanity I needed to stop after a few weeks. The bug is so lucky to have two great and caring parents and a loving home. That's more than some babies have so do what makes mama and baby happiest and I promise he will still be a happy healthy baby.
I hope you read this! I am responding to your comment left on my blog. A prefold is basically the old fashioned diaper that you need to learn different folds for and place a cover over it. A Bumgenius diaper is a pocket diaper. Pocket diapers function like disposable diapers. They have a pocket that you stuff an insert into. When you put it on the baby you secure it almost exactly like a disposable except with velcro fasteners. Fitted diapers function like that too but you need to have a cover. Bumgenius 3.0 diapers are one size so you don't have to keep buying different sizes. Some sites that I like for learning about cloth diapering are- nickisdiapers.com, diaperpin.com, pinstripesandpolkadots.com (probably the best about learning about diapers, but I have never bought anything from there), and jilliansdrawers.com.
If you want to buy some Bumgenius, diapers.com has a discount for first time buys. You can go to retailmenot.com for their recent code.
I also like snugglebottoms at babybunz.com, they are fitted diapers so you need a cover (I love thirsties and bummis super brites).
My daughter is almost potty trained and I am bummed that we are near the end of cloth diapering, I love it!!
Visit my blog and search for cloth diapers, I might have more information.
Don't feel guilty....I had to give up the pumping as well....it was not worth my giving up lunch and anybreak to try to pump and see less and less milk come out. The stress and guilt that you are feeling is not helping the supply either....
Try not to worry...wonderbug will grow, he will be smart, he will be healthy...and mama will have less stress and will be really happy as well.
HUGS to you!
You need a hands-free pumping support - then you don't lose any precious time at work or play.
www.PumpEase.com
Oh and by the way, the reason your supply is down, is BECAUSE you are supplementing with formula. It is a catch-22. I hope I don't sound judgemental as that is not my intent. You CAN build-up your supply again. The Medela Freestyle is great and all, but their hands-free apparatus is fiddly at best. PumpEase takes about 30 seconds to put on, put the horns in the holes and start pumping - probably less. This is my company - but this isn't a sales pitch - this is what I know and what my customers tell me.
Oh and the studies say that breastmilk protects both Mom & Baby against a myriad of diseases.
http://www.pumpease.com/breastfeeding-protects-you-and-your-baby-against-disease
Good luck!
Wendy
www.PumpEase.com
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